The Mental Disconnect

What prevents you from living consciously on a daily basis?  With a full time job and a one year old, I often feel tired and stretched to a breaking point.  On top of that, there are so many ways to improve myself and goals to achieve that it can be difficult knowing where to begin.  Here are some of the common obstacles and pitfalls to living a conscious life, and some tips on how to stay on track.

The Issue: Time and Energy 

Life can be busy and how you manage it affects what you are able to achieve each day.  The first step in managing your time is to make sure you don't take on too much in the first place.  Take stock of everything you do in a typical day or week and decide if there are things that can be removed.  Sometimes it's not what you would imagine that consumes important chunks of your day.  As I've mentioned in previous posts, often it is not until you look closely at something and keep track that you realize how bad off you are.  (Think of a food journal, or spending log!) 

The Solution: Analyze and Reassess
I know it's tempting to fall onto the couch after a long day and turn on the television or throw a video game in the console, but these are things we do to mentally disconnect from our lives.  Though we all need time to relax, you should analyze how much time goes to frivolous activities and how much time goes to self-improvement and maintenance.  As always, it is your values and goals that are important here.  I know that it is not a true value or goal for me to spend the limited time I have in the evenings watching television. However, when I'm tired after work and feel like I need to put my feet up and decompress, I have often reached for the remote. 

Watching a little television, or playing a video game is not necessarily bad or wrong, it is the amount of time you give to it that can be a problem, so limiting it is an option.  If you don't feel you can detach yourself, initially, you could have someone in your household put a password on the system, or you could remove the console or cable altogether.  However, I encourage you to work toward self-control and trust in your own ability to follow your values and beliefs.

You should also make a list of some things you would like to incorporate into your daily life that fit with your values and goals and then try replacing the activity you want to limit with one of the activities on the list. It may be that you want to get outside more, and at the moment you spend most of your time indoors watching television.  It may be hard at first to find the energy or motivation to go for a walk, but studies show that exercise actually increases your energy levels over time, and there is a lot to be gained, mentally too, from getting outside and raising your heart rate.

Finally, don't forget to get enough sleep.  Rest is very important for both your body and mind.  If you want to function at peak ability you will need to get some quality sleep.  That means going to bed at a reasonable time, and at the same time everyday and waking at the same time too.  Too much or too little sleep can have a negative impact on your mood and motivation, so don't forget to include your sleep patterns in your analysis.

The Issue: Physical Clutter
You've heard the saying "A tidy house is a tidy mind", or some version of this. From my own experience, I strongly believe that physical clutter creates a debilitating mental block.  The more clutter you have the harder it is to get anything done.  Ordinary, yet important things like staying on top of bills, managing your weight, how you spend your time, and achieving personal goals can all fall victim to the mental fog created by your cluttered environment, and this mental fog will not help you keep a conscious mind.

One situation that has awoken me to this truth is going on vacation and staying in a hotel.  Hotel rooms are empty of clutter.  They house empty furniture which you fill upon your arrival.  Except, I don't know about you, but I've never actually "filled" all of the furniture in a hotel room.  My clothes fit neatly into the wardrobe and drawers, my journal, books, and sleeping aids all sit neatly on the bedside table or in the draw.  You get the point!  I find it incredibly freeing to stay in a hotel with my limited possessions and I don't miss or want for anything sitting at home.  So, the question remains, why do we have so much stuff and what do we do about it?

The Solution: Get Organized
The reasons why we may have a lot of possessions are varied.  You may have a tendency to hoard and develop sentimental attachments to things, or you may just be a procrastinator or both.  Sometimes, if you are very disorganized, you might find yourself purchasing items that you already have tucked away somewhere at home.  It could also be as simple as never truly assessing what you own.  I believe that a lot of the barriers to living a conscious life are interrelated, and you may even find yourself in a vicious cycle of bad habits where one thing seems to cause another.  But you have to begin somewhere, and home is probably a good place to begin. 

A great tip I picked up from an author by the name of Gail Blanke is to start by throwing out 50 things.  I think this works well for someone who has difficulty getting started on what seems like an overwhelming task such as de-cluttering an entire room or house.  Instead of looking at the big picture, you are simply saying you are going to throw out a finite number (50 in this case) of things that you no longer need. 

Stacks of paperwork or magazines are considered one item, but things like a broken umbrella (unless for some reason you are a collector) would not be grouped with anything else and would also count as one item.  Be sure not to bring anything new into your home, where possible, while you are trying to declutter, since you may end up replacing many of the items you are throwing out.  Once you have completed this initial challenge you should feel good about what you have accomplished and, if there is more decluttering to be done, you should already feel more motivated to get the job done.  Expand your challenge to throw out another 50 things.


The Issue: Procrastination or Avoidance
With all the responsibilities that come with the various hats we wear, it is inevitable that some tasks feel quite arduous and unappealing.  But even when we have goals and desires, though the end result might be extremely appealing, sometimes the path we have to travel to get there isn't quite so desirable.  In fact, it can be just plain hard work, and in a society with ever increasing demands on time and speed - the want everything now mentality - it's no wonder we feel put off at times.  I wonder if we have forgotten what true hard work is. 

What do you tell yourself when faced with a task?  I know two of my common thought processes are 1) I have to be in the right frame of mind in order to be successful, and 2) I will miraculously find myself in a better mood, with more energy, or even more determination to tackle the task on another day.  Sadly, this is often not the case, so putting it off only increases my stress and feelings of being overwhelmed by the task at hand.

The Solution: Self-regulation
There is no quick fix for procrastination (fitting, isn't it?)  If there were, I think it might defeat the object here.  Procrastination can become a lifestyle if we let it.  It can cut across many or all areas of our life from our finances to our social life.  I can't tell you to go out and buy a planner, or instruct you to start making lists.  While these things can be helpful tools for someone who is just a little disorganized, alone they are unlikely to help a chronic procrastinator for the simple reason that procrastination often comes down to an inability to self-regulate.   Therefore, my suggestion is that you begin to work on self-regulation techniques. 

Start with something small to focus on such as a simple exercise routine.  Make a plan to follow it a couple of times a week and stick to it.  If exercise isn't a good fit for you, focus on your sleeping patterns.  Make a plan to start a nightly sleep ritual and go to bed at the same time everyday and stick to it.  This has a dual purpose since it is not only going to help you learn self-regulation, but also improve your energy and ability to function.  In addition, sleep itself is said to restore your ability to self-regulate.  It doesn't really matter what you choose, but make it something simple and don't try to do too many things at once. 

You may be able to come up with a few other issues that affect your ability to live a conscious life and if you do, I encourage you to work through the problem until you find a solution.  In the meantime, hopefully this will give you a clear place to start.